It’s a question I hear often — and it’s an important one.

At a certain level in your career, there’s an unspoken pressure to have the answers. To be decisive. To project certainty. So what happens when you genuinely don’t know?

The instinct is often to say it outright — or, at the other extreme, to bluff. Neither tends to serve us particularly well. The truth is, authority doesn’t come from knowing everything. It comes from how we handle what we don’t know.

A more effective approach is to shift from certainty to collaborative curiosity. Instead of closing the moment down with “I don’t know,” we can open it up — and bring our listeners with us.

We might say:

• “That’s a really good question — and one we need to keep in mind.”
• “It’s something we’re all navigating at the moment.”
• “I wonder whether…”
• “We’ll be monitoring this carefully as things develop.”

Notice the subtle shift here. We’re not stepping away from the question — we’re acknowledging it, and positioning it as something we are exploring together. Language matters. Words like we, our, us foster a sense of shared ownership. They keep people on side, rather than creating distance or uncertainty.

But perhaps the most important skill in these moments is not what we say next — it’s how well we’ve listened. Often, a question is carrying something beneath the surface: a concern, a hesitation, a need for reassurance. If we take a moment to really hear what’s behind the question, our response becomes far more grounded and relevant.

And that, ultimately, is where authority lies. Not in having all the answers — but in demonstrating that you are thoughtful, attentive, and engaged with the challenges in front of you – able to bring people with you. 

When we respond with clarity, openness, and a sense of shared purpose, we don’t lose authority. We deepen it.

 

Based in Leytonstone, London, UK, Julia Caddick is a dynamic Leadership Voice and Communication coach, working in person and online worldwide.